We all have hard weeks where we feel stuck, lost, and exhausted. This week, what my soul needed from me was rest, a different and deeper type of rest, and to be honest, I was not too fond of that ask.

The message was clear, “You will have to learn to rest and take care of yourself in a new way.” Every part of my mind, body, and soul was resistant.  I was angry, emotional, and unable to move forward. There are always learning moments when I feel resistant.  There is a reason I am fighting something that I know is best for me.

The learning moment for me was that I did not want to rest because I am most comfortable when I am “grinding.” Staying busy, feeling productive, and “getting shit done” is my superpower; part of my identity and how I perceive my worth.  The profound learning moment was that I had to retire this identity as it was not serving me any longer. I was burnt out and I did not want my worth to come from this superficial place any longer.

When we decide to let go of an old version of ourselves, there is a deep grieving that has to take place.  This can be very uncomfortable as we create new neural pathways out of deeply engrained patterns.  It can feel like you are crawling out of your skin, but there is always something better on the other side.  In my experience, to get to the other side usually means that I have to learn how to participate willingly in deep rest, and move into acceptance.

The continuing theme to move into acceptance screams a loud message:Private Yoga San Diego

“Surrender! Let Go! Trust!  You are not in control.  You are free now to give it all up. It is your time to rest, and allow the pieces to fall together as they will.”

Learning how to rest has been the catalyst for change in my healing journey.  Learning how to rest means that I have to let go, that I have to surrender, and slow down. For years I was not even aware that I needed to rest; it felt awkward and overwhelming, foreign and uncomfortable.  The deeper I move into finding my truth the deeper rest I need.

When we can truly rest and learn how to take care of ourselves through strong connection with self we can step back into our power.  Rather than doing what we think we “should” be doing, we get to tap into what it is that WE want.

We get to explore the answers to the questions:

  • What lights me up?
  • What is my purpose?
  • What kind of life feels nourishing and fulfilling to me?
  • How am I being of service to the world?

When we begin to get curious about these types of questions everything starts to shift.  This shift can propel you into a new way of thinking and living; it is exhilarating and new and almost like a high. So exhilarating that guess what? You can become exhausted by it and move back into burnout. I was certain that since I had made this shift that was so aligned there would no longer be the dark lows.  Ha, jokes on me. It’s all about riding the waves, up and down, and finding the lesson of it all with an open and compassionate heart.

The Silver Lining of Burnout?

We can allow the exhaustion to teach us how to check in with ourselves.  We can learn to trust the body’s messages and let go of our default responses of unconsciously going through the motions. We can learn to love ourselves enough to let our exhaustion be a pivotal learning moment.  We can find the courage to make the change that is being asked of us from a higher and more profound place.

Burnout can be the barometer available to help us identify our needs.  This requires saying goodbye to the old self who grinds or hides through life that now no longer serves you.  A beautiful opportunity opens up for us to take a strong look at how exhausted we are, and what you want your new self to look and feel like.

 

The new me knows how to be present. 

The new me knows how to be embodied

The new me know how to connect with the messages that my intuition is here to guide me with. 

The new me knows how to rest in a way that feels nourishing so I can feel safe and at ease.

 

 

Why is Resting So Hard?

We may wonder why it has been so hard to learn how to rest.  A combination of conditioning, daily living in “hustle culture” and comparing ourselves to others rather than aligning with our values and needs. It can take years to awaken to the fact that we are different,  have different paths, and want different things. For years, I climbed up an empty ladder without recognizing how it made me feel inside. I was taught that rest is ‘lazy.” We do what think we are supposed to be doing. We do this until we awaken into consciousness that this way is not making us happy.

This is hard because we have worked hard, we checked all the boxes, and now we are more confused than ever.  This awakening stage is incredibly powerful and equally exhausting.  This is when our relationship with rest begins to become most important.  We are not wired to grind any longer.  Our body starts to match our new thought patterns and serves to communicate and guide us, and if we ignore this guidance, our body can shut down.

How can we value rest as a non-negotiable?  Becoming so dedicated to connecting inward and slowing down, we can trust the very strong cues when we are pushing too hard.  Even further, we can honor rest willingly when it is calling us. Once we know how to honor this rest/request, we then become much more attuned to the other parts that want our attention, leading us even deeper into alignment and feeling fulfilled.

Here Are Some of the Ways I Honor Deep Rest:

I have added a list of ways to rest below that I hope you find helpful. I urge all of us to look deeper into why we feel we have to stay so busy.  I offer the suggestion to do this without feeling shame or guilt, rather using this as a chance to get curious and an opportunity for you to learn how to show yourself compassion through the lens of self-inquiry.

Ask for Support

This year I made the choice to make massive changes; to be a more present and available mom for my kiddos, I had to learn how to ask for help. I had to change the perspective of feeling like a burden, to surround myself with a supportive group of friends and family who are more than happy to help when I need it.  Choosing friends and a community that creates positive reciprocity is beautiful and nourishing, this is tribe!

Meditate

Meditation is my jam! A very important and crucial part of my daily practice and the part of my day that anchors me into dropping back into my body. Our busy thoughts can be overwhelming and seem to never end.  Use your meditation practice as a time for you to connect, be still, and listen.  Magic is available for you through the stillness of meditation. CLICK HERE to access a guided meditation on my YouTube channel.

Mindful Movement

When feeling stuck, emotional, and like your mind is spiraling; move the body.  This is a great opportunity for you to check in with yourself to ask what your body needs.  A restful restorative yoga practice with incense, music, and a candle is my favorite go-to when stillness seems too challenging to access.

Self-Compassion

Learning how to love ourselves for exactly who we are enables us to learn how to let go and rest.  If we can show ourselves compassion, we can feel worthy enough to receive the gift of deep rest. When we slow down and check-in, the deep lessons to be learned from listening to your inner wisdom can be accessed. Self-compassion can lead us towards our greatest growth when we respond to our challenges with care and without shame or judgment.

Nature

Go outside and surround yourself with quiet.  When I remove myself from the busy sounds of the day-to-day, I step into a place of connection. Watching the trees dance within the songs of a breeze, feeling the ground anchoring my feet through the crunching earth below.  Being in nature is a time of reflection and true presence.  Surrounding yourself in a peaceful and natural environment can move you away from your busy mind, and into the wonder of liveliness and awe.

I hope this article has struck a new way of thinking about rest for you, why we are resistant to circumstances, and how we can learn to navigate through these learning moments with awareness.  All of my offerings are about just that; connecting to a community to feel supported.  Using yoga and meditation as modalities to connect to your inner landscape and learning how to slow down so we can be more present.  A reminder that we can keep this simple and learn to support ourselves in the process.

Craving Community?  Join my SISTER CIRCLE either in-person or online.

Craving a Reset?  Join our WOMEN’S WEEKEND RETREAT in Temecula on May 3rd.

Craving Individual Support? Let’s book a CONNECT CALL and get started!

Never Alone!

Tiffany

 

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